cutting a chair in half

A tricky problem. How to cut a chair in half so that it looks like it's sunk into the ground. Marking out a line round the legs so it's all level.



I imagined some huge Goldfinger-death-ray device that I could strap the chair to and wind it closer and closer to the beam before it cuts its way inexorably through the soft wood.


"Do you expect me to talk, Goldfinger?"
"No I expect you to die, Mr Bond."

Meanwhile back in reality, I thought about the sexyly titled, Bond-worthy, Plasma Cutter, that sounded the sort of thing, and Billy has one, but then Jim told me it was just a fancy [very fancy] welding torch, and not the laser beam death-ray I was hoping for.



Apparently making the film they used an oxy-acetylene torch to emulate the laser ray cutting the steel. A man sat under the table with the welding torch [and goggles of course] while a stunt double lay strapped on the table. The only thing between him and a distinct fall off in his night-life was a chalk mark on the underside of the steel, where the welder was to leave off cutting.

Anyway, back to the chairs, Mike, who makes violins for a living and so knows all about cutting chairs in half, suggested a big bath of inky water dip the chair in at the desired angle and the resultant tide-mark is the cutting line. Brilliant! Only thing is I don't have a bath, and it simply didn't work in the shower.

So I reverted to the Schoolboy Woodwork Method of marking things out with a pencil and projecting the lines with a steel ruler and generally setting angles and bisecting azimuths. It seemed to work.